We Need To Stop Downplaying Others’ Situations

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As many of you already know, I set up a Facebook Group to provide support and advice to those living with Hypothyroidism. Posts that members submit range from people asking for help in understanding what blood results mean, needing to rant about a difficult day, asking for support for an upcoming doctor’s appointment and even fun discussions to meet online friends. After all, living with a chronic health condition such as thyroid disease can be lonely. 

However, every now and then, a couple of particular topics are discussed for which the responses always shock me a little. Topics such as:

 ‘Has anyone successfully received disability benefit for their Hypothyroidism?’

‘I needed a seat on public transport but had to stand and felt very unwell

Has anyone else had to go part time or give up work due to their thyroid condition?’  

They all seem innocent topics enough and reasonable questions to ask, but they also always bring out certain people with bad attitudes.

With these kinds of questions, there is guaranteed to be some people who, for whatever reason, seem to think that it’s a good idea to suggest that we all have the same experience with the same disease. Every time without fail, I see these comments: 

I’ve never needed to claim benefits. I’m not disabled. Hypothyroidism isn’t a disability. Pull yourself together!” 

“I’ve never had a problem with having to stand for public transport. Hypothyroidism doesn’t make you unable to use your legs!”

“I’ve worked hard my whole life. Nothing will ever stop my work ethic. People are using their health conditions as an excuse to be lazy.” 

Oh my, the ignorance.

These are genuine answers I’ve read. And they shock me.

You’d think that when people are united through having the same health conditions or chronic illness, that they would be sympathetic. You’d think that they would be aware of how little awareness the general public already give it. As part of a community brought together by the same health condition, why are you not being supportive but instead are being the total opposite? I just don’t get it.

There are always people who are like ‘I have the condition too but I can do things fine’, which is so backwards because you’d think that having the condition would mean they would be able to recognise that different people experience it differently. You’d think they’d have the compassion and sensitivity. 

For some people, their Hypothyroidism is a disability. It can leave people bed-bound, in excruciating muscle pain, unexplainably fatigued, depressed and more. If you’re a thyroid patient who is lucky enough to find that they actually feel rather well, count yourself very lucky that you don’t experience what so many others do when the disease has devastated their life.  To imply that because you’re pretty healthy with Hypothyroidism therefore everyone else must be, is incredibly ignorant.

And I’ve been on both sides.

Almost signed off work from the heavy fatigue, depression, indescribable muscle pain and more, that left me incredibly ill from Hypothyroidism, I was in pieces. And I could not stop it. I’m not exaggerating when I say that at one point I couldn’t get up the stairs in my house unaided. I was bed-bound for days at a time, unable to move apart from using the toilet in the next room. I’m a determined, motivated and generally positive person, too. Don’t think that I like wallowing.

I am currently also doing quite well. I work, I function without my thyroid condition getting in the way for the most part and my mental health is the best it’s been in a long time. But I know how bad it can be. Some people are left suicidal with thyroid disease. I wanted to die at the worst point of battling this condition.

It just seems so backwards that people with the same condition then apply the same standards to everyone else with it, as if society already doesn’t misunderstand our chronic illness and its effects. These people are being just as bad, if not worse, because their ignorance and dismissal is existent despite them being aware of the disease. And being a part of the community; being in touch in with other patients and hearing their concerns and struggles regularly, informs them of the real struggles going on.

I think they must forget that it isn’t a competition.

It isn’t a competition to out-do your fellow chronic illness warriors with ‘Well I can do this, so you should too’. You don’t get points for invalidating someone else’s struggles. It makes those who are struggling feel even more alone, even more misunderstood (when they’re no doubt already coming up against a lot of people not understanding their situation in real life anyway), and it takes us many steps backwards.

I’ll never understand why some people who are part of a community that provides help and support to those struggling with the same condition, will then dismiss all the effects this same condition can have on someone else and their life. You can’t compare these experiences. Everyone is individual and so is their individual experience. Everyone’s experience is valid.

Please remember that if you’re a thyroid patient living with poor mental health or lingering physical symptoms, that you don’t have to live this way. To address why you may still be feeling unwell (often despite being on thyroid medication too), please see this article and go through each suggestion, putting your thyroid jigsaw back together.

If you found this article helpful please take a moment to share this post on social media so we can help other Thyroid Warriors get better and spread awareness.

Written by Rachel, The Invisible Hypothyroidism

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Rachel Hill, Thyroid Patient Expert and Advocate, blogger and author, has Six 2018 WEGO Health Award Nominations. She is a highly ranked writer appearing in the Top Hypothyroidism Websites and Top Thyroid Websites 2018, with relevant qualifications and certificates in Diet and Nutrition, whilst also currently studying Life Coaching, Motivational Speaking, Reflexology and more. She has worked with The National Academy of Hypothyroidism, The BBC, The Mighty, Dr. Hedberg, Yahoo, MSN and ThyroidChange, to name just a few. She is well recognised as a trusted and useful contributor to the thyroid community and has also contributed a foreword to Emily Kyle’s The 30-Minute Thyroid Cookbook.

3 thoughts on “We Need To Stop Downplaying Others’ Situations

  1. For me I know it takes an extraordinarily strong mind to live with this disease. I have Hashimoto’s & I have been struggling for years. What I won’t do is let this disease win. I so often push myself to work, exercise & all everyday activity & I direct all the anger at this crappy disease. I know there are people who think I am doing well as that is how it can appear & think I am not sick. Hey I have a disease you don’t see. At the end of the day it’s up to me. I can’t wait for people to feel for me. In today’s world it isn’t going to happen.

  2. thank you Rachel for these posts, I find them very helpful, everything you write about in this one I can recognise, I am lucky in that a lot of the conditions experienced by people with an underactive thyroid I can cope with, or make myself cope with but there are always times when it almost gets too much – I think I have been treated for Graves disease so how I feel each day is a result of the radioactive iodene treatment and how this has left my thyroid or what is left of it, so I celebrate good days and enjoy the energy I have on those days, and take it easy on the days I don’t, it “ain’t” going away and until the medical profession treat the condition with more than just a prescription for the “magic pill” levo we must all find our own way of living life to the full – thanks again Rachel you are a real advocate for all of us

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